Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
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I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
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I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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