Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize