Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
