I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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