im holly from the hills drunk
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
