is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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