Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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