did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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