I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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