theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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