you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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