i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize