you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
