Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
