Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
