There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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