the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
