Screwed.edu
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
