But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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