Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
