can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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