Already got asked if we're dating
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
