You really coming over, don't trick.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
