I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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