Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
