Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
