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I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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