dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I could have mohawked her pubes.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
and you fell through a lawn chair
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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