I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Randomize
