how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
