It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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