What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
