I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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