I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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