I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
