At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
