Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
