That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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