just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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