we're blogging at a bar
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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