LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Farmville is her only friend.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
