i permit you to call me
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
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I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
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Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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