oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My dad just said "fuck circus"
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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