FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
