somebody snuck up and got me drunk
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
