can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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