i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
