Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
