she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
