Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
The air taste purple.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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