GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
