he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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