erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
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