I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
we're so committed to being not committed
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
