I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
