just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
