He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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