margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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