I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
