There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
