I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
