all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I queefed so loud it echoed.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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